In leadership, attention is one of our most powerful tools. When used well, it motivates and strengthens the connection between a leader and their team. But when used excessively or selectively, it can unintentionally create dependence, resentment, and mistrust.
The Problem with Too Much of a Good Thing
Leaders often give sudden attention to someone with the best of intentions—recognizing a win, encouraging performance, or supporting someone with potential. Yet when that attention becomes profuse and sustained, it can cross a subtle line.
This kind of “attention bombing” can make people feel special yet obligated, creating an unhealthy dynamic where a team member feels overly concerned about maintaining approval. While it may not always be deliberate, this behavior often stems from insecurity or a desire for control.
How It shows Up
Leaders who attention bomb tend to:
Shower a specific person with praise and flattery,
Communicate more frequently and personally with them,
Offer access to exclusive projects, meetings, or information,
Include them in “inner circle” activities.
Initially, this attention feels positive, but it fades as quickly as it appears. The leader shifts focus to someone new, leaving the former “favorite” confused or deflated.
The Impact on the Team
Teams quickly recognize the revolving favorite, and over time, this behavior erodes trust. Team members begin to question the sincerity of praise, resulting in skepticism. People may compete for attention or disengage altogether, diminishing collaboration and morale.
Breaking the Cycle
To overcome this habit, the first step is self-awareness. True leadership isn’t about intensity—it’s about consistency. A few ways to recalibrate:
Distribute attention evenly and intentionally.
Limit how much focus you place on any one person.
Tie praise to specific behaviors or results.
Rotate opportunities so everyone gains exposure and experience
By spreading attention and encouragement across the team, leaders foster an environment of fairness, trust, and shared purpose.
The Takeaway
Good leaders don’t “drop the bomb” on one person—they lift the whole team. The best leaders understand that consistent, balanced attention builds loyalty not to them, but to the mission and each other.
